Afterwards
by Banpaia Daisho
Summary: I've now posted a plea for help because of my fits of indecision. Please read and tell me your mind.
1. Calm(?) Before the Storm

Author's Notes:  There's rampant OOC here, a couple of characters from other anime shows, and profanity and violence.  Oh yeah, and character bashing on all fronts.  Enjoy.

Afterwards

            After all the cheering crowds, the television appearances, the celebratory speeches, and all the grand parties thrown in honor of the defeat of OZ and Mariemaia's army, the Gundam pilots just wanted some time to relax.  A hectic month had gone by since the war's end, and everyone finally had a free weekend to do with as they pleased.  Relena had had the idea to invite the five teens over to her estate for some 'down time', and to her slight surprise all had accepted.  She'd gotten the impression that at one of them didn't care much for her (*cough* Wufei *cough*).  Still, she put on a lavish array of food for them.  Too bad it wasn't done by the time the first guest arrived…

            "Hello, Miss Relena," Quatre said courteously when Relena opened the door.

            "I'm so glad you could make it," Relena gushed.  "You're the first to arrive.  Why don't you make yourself comfortable?  The food isn't ready yet, and besides, it would be rude to start the dinner without the others here."

            "Yes, it would," Quatre agreed.

            Rude got Relena to thinking.  "Quatre," she began, "Where are those bodyguards you always have with you?"

            "Oh, the Maguanacs…I gave them some time off.  I think they all piled into a couple of vans and drove into town."

            "That's a shame," Relena remarked, her thoughts not really following her mouth.  "Pagan's making enough food to feed all of them as well.  I should go tell him."

            Relena headed off towards the kitchen, while Quatre went into Relena's den and started perusing the newspaper there.  Before Relena could make it to her destination, however, the doorbell rang.  Pagan, coming out of the kitchen, bolted for the door, but Relena beat him there.  She opened the door to find a grinning Duo Maxwell.

            "Where's the food?  I'm starved!" he exclaimed.

            "I'm afraid you'll have to wait until the others arrive.  Besides, the food isn't quite ready yet.  Right, Pagan?"

            "Another 10 minutes," Pagan said apologetically.

            "It's alright, Pagan," Relena said.  "We're still waiting for the others to arrive."

            "No, it's not alright!" Duo butted in.  "I'm hungry now!"

            "I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait," Relena replied curtly.  "Maybe you could join Quatre in the den.  Anyway, my home is at your disposal."

            Duo hung his cap up on the coat rack standing nearby.  Then Relena's 72-inch, surround sound, DVD equipped, picture within a picture, Internet ready TV caught his eye.  Drooling, he strode over there and plopped himself down on a lavish leather couch.  He sought and found the remote, and after a moment's worth of channel surfing, came to rest on AC MTV.  Relena noticed some indistinguishable teeny-bopper band dancing across the screen and sighed.

            "Boys will be boys," she mused to nobody in particular, and then ended up gasping involuntarily when she turned to find Wufei standing in her still open doorway.  She tried to turn the gasp into a compulsory smile as she welcomed the stone-faced pilot.

            "Weakling," he said forcefully.  "Not only do you leave your home open for anybody to waltz in, but then you stare unabashedly at that person.  Did I frighten you?  Or maybe you find me attractive…?"

            Relena promptly choked and sputtered at Wufei's comments.  She visually composed herself and responded.  "Uh…many apologies if I've offended you."  Relena had never liked Wufei, and Wufei hated her right back.  Plus, he was way too stern and serious.  Not that she didn't like people who seemed to be constantly stern and serious…she caught herself before she went off the deep end into another Heero-induced stupor, and continued talking.  "Until the others arrive, you can make yourself at home."

            "Injustice!" Wufei spat out.  "No food yet?  And I'll have you know my home was blown up, thank you very much."  He stormed off to who knows where (hold Pagan at katana-point, probably).  As he left the main hall, Relena caught a muttered 'stupid onna' from the Chinese pilot.  In retaliation, she stuck her tongue out as far as it could go at him.

            "That isn't very polite."

            Relena's tongue retreated as she turned around.  "Oh…Trowa, I'm sorry.  I didn't notice you there.  Seems I'm offending most everyone tonight."  At this point, Relena made two mental notes:  to stop pissing people off, and to close the front door.

            Trowa stifled a rare snicker and decided not to make a comment somewhere along the lines of, "Well, you offend everyone all the time."  Instead, he opted for something a bit safer.  "I didn't think you to be the kind of person to go behind someone's back."

            Now Relena looked offended.  "But he called me a stupid onna!" she protested.

            "Yeah, he does that to everyone, even us," Trowa responded.

            "I know.  That's what pisses me off!" Relena fumed.

            "Man, how many times will she, the supposed total pacifist, lose control like this?" Trowa said sarcastically very low under his breath.

            "What was that?" Relena queried.

            "Nothing," Trowa calmly replied.  "I was just wondering if the food was ready."  'Like I'm going to eat it anyways,' Trowa thought to himself, careful to avoid Relena overhearing any more of his comments.

            "Just a couple more minutes, then dinner will be served.  Hopefully Heero will arrive by then.  Then we'll be able to start," Relena politely said.  "In the meantime, you can find something to do while you wait"

            Trowa spied Quatre behind his newspaper and started walking over there.  Quatre looked up to see Trowa advancing towards him and started blushing profusely.  Trowa sat down across from Quatre and started a conversation, which must've been pretty one sided, because Quatre was burying his head in his paper to keep Trowa from seeing his scarlet cheeks.  

Relena looked on, a puzzled expression on her face.  'Why is Quatre blushing?' was the first thought that coursed through Relena's mind, but not the most important.  She quickly dismissed the two chatting pilots from her mind and turned to wondering where Heero was.  She started pacing nervously back and forth, and then proceeded to make laps of her overly-large front hall.  Her steps quickened as the minutes flew by.  10, 20, 30, 45 minutes, then a whole hour went by, and no Heero.  Pagan had informed her long ago that dinner was finally ready.  "Where's Heero?  He's ruining everything!" Relena thought.  Or so she thought she thought.  She stopped her pacing as she noticed everyone had their heads inclined towards her and questioning looks on their faces.

"Oops!  Did I just say that aloud?" Relena questioned.  Three heads nodded in reply while a certain self-proclaimed God of Death was trying hard not to laugh his ass off, and pretty much failing.

Relena noticed and got angry.  "Well, it's true!"  She was fast becoming more flustered than she already was.  "I just wanted everyone to have a nice, relaxing evening, and to get some peace and quiet.  It's just not fair!"  She was softly crying now, tears streaming down her pink-tinged cheeks.

"That's not why I'm laughing," Duo remarked, trying to regain some seriousness and failing miserably.  "Heero's been here the past 45 minutes.  He snuck in when you and Wufei were going at it."  Duo pointed a finger at the bit of brown hair sticking up above the top of the couch.

"Joke's on you, Relena," Heero said in his dull monotone as he craned his head back to look at her.

"Ohh, the NERVE!" Relena shrieked.  "The night's ruined!  The food's probably cold and disgusting, I'm mad, you're laughing at me, and…" Relena sank to the floor in a pile of skirts, sobbing now.  Trowa and Quatre looked on, distressed at the situation.  Wufei looked strangely satisfied at seeing Relena so miserable, and Duo and Heero looked like they'd anticipated as much.

"Relena, I 'ruined' your party on purpose.  We all know how stuffy and formal and unbearable your parties get, so we all agreed on another plan." Heero said.

"What plan?!?!?" everyone chorused.

"OK, the plan's just mine.  But you _will_ like it" Heero shot a Deathglare to back his statement up, and it succeeded in shutting up the unvoiced complaints he knew were coming.  He gestured at the TV, which was still playing music videos.  "We need time to relax, right?  So we're going out and having some fun."

'The word fun just came out of Heero's mouth?' was the unanimous thought at the moment.  Heero saw the opening and continued.  "I know what you're going to say.  We're celebrities, and we can't go out without being mobbed.  I know that just as well as the rest of you.  That's why I rented a bar for the night."  Heero pointed at the television again.  "Specifically, a karaoke bar.  I invited everyone, too.  Sally…"

Wufei groaned.

"Hilde…"

Duo moaned.

"Catherine…"

Owls were heard outside.  They were the only ones that gave a hoot about the knive-throwing circus lady.

"Dorothy…"

A raucous din was heard as many voices rose to complain about Heero's ability to choose the right people.

"Howard…"

"But he's old, eccentric, and just plain weird.  And he smells," Duo piped up.

"So?" Heero responded, and Duo didn't say any more.  Heero went on.

"Noin…"

"But she'll just hit on my brother," Relena grumbled.

Everyone had a good laugh over that.

"Yes, him too," Heero said stoically.  "Let's see, I invited Lady Une…"

"I know she's peace-minded now, and head of the Preventers, but she killed my father, excuse me, my _adoptive_ father.  And her split personalities still pop up occasionally.  She gives me the creeps," Relena said all in one breath, the nearly fainted from the exertion.  She recovered and asked, "Why her, Heero?"

"……………" responded Heero.

"I see," Relena said in response to the silence.

"And to wrap this up," everyone let out a sigh of relief, "Anyone I forgot to mention, excluding dead people and people we don't give a shit about."

"Heero! Watch your language!" Relena admonished.  She would've continued, but then Pagan walked in.

"What about me?" he said.

"Pagan, you suck.  You're too old to come along.  Hell, you drive 25 on the highway," Heero bluntly stated.  Most looked to be in agreement, except Quatre.  He was just being courteous, though.  Relena also looked angry, though whether it was about Pagan being berated or Heero's coarse language couldn't be told.

"Why the hell do I never get to have any fun?  That damn hippie Howard gets to go and I don't?  What a screwed up system this is.  _I _have to stay behind and clean up the kitchen I've been slaving in since 6 this morning," Pagan yelled.  "You can all just fuck off.  Relena," he motioned to her, "Watch your back.  I just might pull a disgruntled butler stint and…

"Too late," Duo joked.

"Why you little braided son-of-a-bitch!  Take that back!"  Pagan roared.  Showing surprising agility for one his age (Jurassic at least), he took a flying leap at Duo, grabbing for his throat.  Seeing Duo in danger, Heero reached into Hammerspace (spandex) and pulled out his gun.  He aimed, and fired.  The bullet lanced through Pagan's head right before he got to Duo.  Duo sidestepped the flying butler's body, leaving it to crash into the wall next to the TV.  It crumpled into a bloody mass as it landed.

"Ewww," Relena gagged.  "Can't say he didn't deserve it.  Too bad I can't call him to take care of this mess, though.  Oh well.  I should've given him the pink slip long ago."

"Yeah, for suggesting I get a pink shirt!" Quatre finally spoke up.

"And for getting me a pink car!" Relena added.

"And for turning my nice pair of white pants pink in the wash," Wufei said with contempt.

"I 'pink' we've had enough of these pink comments," Trowa said in deadpan.  Everyone agreed.

"C'mon, the night is young!  Let's go!" Duo encouraged.  There was a mad rush for the door and voices rose in protest over who'd drive and who'd get shotgun.  Heero, hearing the word shotgun, reached into Hammerspace and pulled out an example.  Those who noticed ran much faster.  Relena, being the closest and somehow being able to run in high heels, made it to the abomination of a car first and hopped in the driver's seat.  Everyone else (except Quatre, nice guy he is) ran to the passenger side of the car to claim the second most coveted seat.  Duo managed to get the door open, but Relena reached out and forcefully yanked Heero in.  Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei crammed into the backseat, leaving Duo with nowhere to sit.

"What am I supposed to do?" Duo whined.

In response, Relena popped the trunk and got out, a smile on her face.

"You can't be serious," Duo plead.

"You talk too much," Relena said gleefully while pushing Duo backwards.  Before he knew what was going on, Relena had Duo in the trunk and the lid closed.  She got back in the car and said, "OK, we're ready now."

"Do you even know how to drive?" Trowa asked cautiously.

"I've watched Pagan enough times to know how," she replied, her feelings a bit hurt.

The others swallowed the sudden lump that appeared in their throats and fastened their seatbelts.  Relena turned the key in the ignition, and the rest of the car's occupants hung on for dear life as Relena floored it. 

A.N. - Well, I hoped you liked it.  In case you couldn't tell by the ending, this will be continued in the near future.  This may end up being a huge trilogy, and the part you see is about a fourth of the first chapter.  The problem is, I won't continue it unless you guys want me to, so tell me how you like it.  I crave feedback.


	2. Getting There is Half the Battle

**A.N.** – Well, here's the second part of the first chapter of Afterwards, although NOBODY reviewed it…Ahead you'll find character abuse, cameos, character abuse, rampant OOC, character abuse, insanity, and alcohol.  Did I mention character abuse?  Anyways…on with the fic!

No…wait.  I haven't done a disclaimer.  Whoops.  I could get sued for unauthorized character use in Part 1.  (Yeah, and cows will give chocolate milk).  So anyway, for purely saving my ass reasons, I must state that although I would love to have the rights to GW, I don't.  I make no money off of this, and it's purely for the fanfic community's enjoyment.

Afterwards, Part 2, Chapter 1 

_10 exhilarating minutes later…_

"Relena, left!" Heero shouted.  Relena violently turned the wheel as the car skidded into another 90-degree turn.  "OK, now keep on going until I say stop, got it?" Heero said.  "Just wait…STOP!"  Relena hit the brakes and Heero's head hit the dashboard.  "Damn it!  That hurt!" Heero complained.

            "Ooh, the perfect soldier showing a sign of weakness?" Wufei merrily questioned.  In response, Heero turned around and socked him in the stomach.  Wufei let out an "Oomph" and his breath, and curled up into a fetal position next to a mildly disgusted Quatre.  Relena unbuckled and got out, and everyone else followed, except for Duo (still in the trunk).  They closed the car's doors and proceeded to the bar's entrance.  Suddenly they all remembered two very important things:  that Duo was still in the trunk, and that Relena hadn't put on the parking brake.  They watched helplessly as the car rolled down the hill, and towards a clogged intersection.  Gazes were averted, and screeching and crunching sounds were heard.

            The group as one turned back to see Relena's pink boat of a car much shorter, due to the fact that it's front was smashed into the side of the semi that had halted it's progress.  The trunk had apparently popped open upon impact, and even from a block away they all could see the trunk was bare.  Accusing glares turned to Relena; Heero had a murderous look in his eyes.  Quatre whispered to the startled former princess, "_Now_ you've done it."  Heero balled his hands into fists and pulled his arm back to beat the crap out of Relena.  Simultaneously, the other three pilots restrained him, while Relena recoiled in fear.  "It was an accident, Heero," Quatre tried to explain, but it didn't sound the least bit convincing.

            "I can see that it was an accident," Heero bit out.  "An accident that probably cost Duo his life!"  To the surprise of everyone, he looked on the verge of tears.  Their open mouths and startled looks angered him.  "Don't just stand there!" he yelled.  "See if he's alright, dammit!"  And with that, they rushed down the hill to Duo's aid.

            When they reached the crash site, a crowd had already gathered.  Supported in the middle of the crowd was Duo.  He had screaming girls on all sides of him, and he was trying his best to force them off, rather unsuccessfully.

            "Oh no, groupies!" the 4 non-accosted pilots cried.  Upon hearing their voices, the girls turned their attention to the hapless four.  They glomped onto pilots en masse, all except the die-hard Duo fans (which was still a lot of people).  Now all five pilots were shouting in distress.  The groupies went on kissing and groping the group until Relena let loose her most famous line.

            "HHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRROOOOOOO!" she shrieked.  The howl rose a couple of octaves and went on for a good thirty seconds.  She finally stopped when she realized that nobody was left standing.  The dust settled to reveal everyone on the pavement in agony.  The pilots, with their strengthened resistance to pain, merely kneeled on the ground, clutching at their ears.  The groupies, however, lay writhing on the ground, blood pouring from shattered eardrums.

            After taking a moment to recover enough to speak, Wufei exclaimed, "Hey, Relena is useful after all!"  As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them.  Five heads turned his way, and five jaws dropped to the ground.

            "Does that mean you'll take back the stupid onna from earlier?" Relena asked in a sugarcoated voice.

            "Of course not," Wufei hissed.  "I'll never submit to a woman's authority.  What I mean to say was, 'Damn it onna!  Never scream that goddamn loud again!''

            "Sure you did," everyone chorused.

            Wufei looked utterly defeated.

            "Ooh, Wufie has a soft spot," Duo chortled.  Wufei turned and punched the braided boy in the gut.  "Oi, Wufei!  I was just in a wreck and you want to inflict more pain on me?" Duo moaned.  "Don't you think I've had enough of that already?"

            "Speaking of which," Heero interjected.  "Duo, how'd you get through that without being injured?"

            "Thank goodness Relena has a heavily padded trunk," Duo sighed.  "I was probably mauled by those fangirls worse than the crash itself."  The other pilots nodded in sympathy.

            "Come on!  Let's go have some fun!" Relena insisted.

            "Easy for you to say," Trowa finally spoke up.  "You weren't mobbed."

            "Or had your eardrums nearly explode," the usually mild-mannered Quatre vehemently said.

            At just that moment, the Maguanac Corp. showed up.

            "We heard a shriek, which we identified as Relena's," Rashid explained when questioned by Quatre as to why they'd arrived.  "We knew you were at her place, and thought you might be in danger."

            "You usually respond in less time than this," Quatre grumbled.  "Why are you late?"

            "Well…" Rashid nervously started.  "We thought you'd be at Relena's, so we went there first.  After the place turned up empty, we followed the trail of carnage here."  Rashid huffed.  "Give us a break; we were in a bar halfway across town!"  At this comment, some of the Maguanacs blushed and coughed into their fists.  Everyone noticed, and Duo brought it up.

            "What kind of bar were you at?" he asked, eying them suspiciously.

            "Umm…Quatre told us to go have some fun tonight, so after a group vote we went to a ..uh…strip club."

            "How could you ?!" Quatre exploded at them.  He looked astounded and very pissed.  "I've never had to punish you before, but I might just have to this time."

            "We were just doing what you told us to do," Rashid protested.

            "Well, you can have fun making sure nobody disturbs us while we're having fun," Quatre decided.  "That should be punishment enough."

            "Very well, Master Quatre," Rashid consented.

            "Great," the group replied in unison.  They headed back of the hill, a bevy of bodyguards behind them.  As they reached the door, they saw a black haired girl standing there, wrapped in a plush robe and not much else.  Quatre thought about having Rashid kill her, but he decided to be nice, like (most) always.  "Who are you?" he asked.

            "I'm Sakuya.  I was just wondering where they," she indicated the Maguanacs.  "Had gone, so I followed them here.

            "Great," Quatre moaned.  "Um, they're not coming back, and you're not staying here.  So leave."

            "Give me one good reason why I should," she countered.  "I'm losing a lot of money because of this."

            Quatre reached into his pocket and pulled out a pen and his checkbook.  He wrote a long sum on a check, tore it off, and handed it to Sakuya.  "There.  Is that enough for you?  Now please leave us be."

            The girl's face lit up as she saw the amount of money she was holding in her hand.  She winked and smiled widely at Quatre, then turned and left.

            The group watched her leave, utterly baffled at the strangeness of the preceding events.  Quietly they went into the bar, while the Maguanacs formed a perimeter around the building.  In total contrast to the group entering, the group already inside was being very noisy.  Noin and Zechs sat in a corner booth having a heated argument.  Sally, Hilde, and Catherine sat gossiping around a table near the stage.  Howard was all alone at one end of the bar, sipping a bottle of beer dejectedly.  Lady Une sat with the wheelchair-bound Mariemaia near the jukebox, apparently making a selection since noone was signing.  And Dorothy was at the other end of the bar, chatting with the bartender.

            As the pilots and Relena walked in, the noise vanished and anticipation took its place.  Now that everyone was here, what would happen?  Not much, apparently.  The pilots all crowded into another corner booth, with the exception of Heero.  Relena joined the gossip group.  Conversation resumed, but it had lost much of its enthusiasm.  Heero strode over to the bar and vied with Dorothy for the bartender's attention.  Dorothy finally got up to talk with Relena, and the bartender went over to Heero, her cyan hair trailing behind her.

            "Did you set up the tab I asked for?" Heero asked her.  The lady's yellow eyes looked confused for a second, but she replied.  "Oh yes.  Unlimited, right?  It was the least I could do for a war hero, and such a hot one, too!"  The bartender tried to throw herself at Heero, but Heero shrugged it off and walked back into the midst of the groups.

            "All right everyone.  The bar is at your disposal.  Have fun," Heero intoned.  Crickets chirped.  Have fun were words nobody expected Heero to say, much less twice in one night.  Everyone was rooted to the spot they sat, stunned.  The lights on the dance floor flashed, and the microphone stood alone on the stage as the tension mounted.

            Finally, Hilde broke the ice.  She went over to the bar, downed a shot, and smashed the glass on floor.  "C'mon everybody!  Stop acting like statues and get into this!" she pleaded with the others.  She sprinted over to Duo and forcefully dragged him to the stage, whispering on the way, "That was so liberating.  But not so much as…."  Duo cut her off with a finger to her lips.  "Let me guess," he said.  'Not so much as what we're going to do will be."

            "You got it," Hilde replied, a twinkle in her eye.  "But wait till you see what I'm singing!  You haven't got me as pinned as you think you have."  Duo sighed as the pair started perusing the songbook and listening to possible choices on the attached headphones.

            As they occupied themselves on stage, the rest pulled up barstools and sat down to watch the fun.  A waiter came over to take orders, blushing nervously as the bartender winked at him and made an inappropriate hand gesture.  Flustered, he returned to the bar, only to be brought back because he'd forgotten to take the orders.  Heero ordered 2 bottles of beer, and when they arrived he gave one to Relena.

            'If Heero thinks getting me drunk will work, he's got another thing coming,' Relena mused to herself.  'But I might as well play along for now.'  She handed the bottle to Heero, who opened it with a Deathglare and handed it back.  Relena then proceeded to down the bottle in one long gulp, much to the amazement of Heero.

            'Damn!  It'll take more for her to pass out than I thought,' Heero thought glumly.  He handed Relena his beer and she accepted it with a strange smile.  She gave the top a twist and off it came, hitting Heero in the forehead right next to his previous bruise.  She languidly took drinks from the bottle while Heero rubbed his new red mark, then said, "Hero, I have a proposition for you."  The bar grew quiet as everyone listened in.

            "Go on," Heero suggested.

            Relena gleefully said, "Heero, I bet you the amount of our bar tab for the night that you pass out drunk before I do."

            A sharp intake of breath was the only sound to be heard.  Heero was finding it hard to keep his composure.  All action had stopped as they awaited Heero's response.

            "Mission…accepted."

            The bar's other occupants began their conversations anew, whispering excitedly amongst themselves.  Heero looked over at Relena, who had finished the beer he'd given her.  "Well, are you going to catch up or not?" she chided.  Heero shot her a Deathglare and signaled the waiter.  A showdown was in store.

A.N., version 2.0 – If you think that these first two parts are insane, the next two (still awaiting my pen) are going to be over the edge.  The next two parts, which will finish the first chapter off, are one big songfic.  Every single main character in GW WILL sing.  This is where the rampant OOC comes in.  Look forward to the next two parts in the future (could be February, or could be May; I don't know).  Till then, ja ne! 


	3. Is Anybody Out There?

Afterwards: Part 1, Chapter 2.9999999999  
  
A.N. - Hey everybody. Not like anyone demanded it, but here's a TINY tidbit of what's to come.  
  
"..........."  
  
There. That's all you're getting. UNLESS you help me formulate the rest of the story line. As I've said, every character is going to have a chance on the stage. But, aside from Catherine and Hilde, I have no idea what anyone's going to sing. That's where you come in. Give me song ideas, or couples ideas (I'll write anything, just not graphically.) in your reviews. I'd really appreciate it. Here's some songs I'd like to use:  
  
* "Comedown" - Bush  
* "Push" - Matchbox 20  
* "Sick-Cycle Carousel" - Lifehouse  
* "Long Lost" - Better Than Ezra  
* "Busted" - Matchbox 20  
* "Uninvited" - Alanis Morissette  
* "The Bad Touch" - Bloodhound Gang (humor me)  
* "So I Need You" - 3 Doors Down  
* "Frozen" - Madonna  
* "Beautiful Stranger" - Madonna  
* "The Chemicals Between Us" - Bush  
* "Stellar" - Incubus  
  
Oh, and by the way, I'm having Hilde sing "Don't Speak" by No Doubt to Duo (break-up, anyone?) and Catherine's singing the Goo Goo Dolls' "Name" to Trowa. Please, people, I need help on this!  
  
-Banpaia Daisho 


End file.
